Saturday, November 19, 2011

A very special Saturday post for a very special occasion

Not only is it International Sloth Day again today, but it's also time to announce our last slothoftheday post! Sloths have been getting very tired over the last year, and they are going on a permanent vacation. Or at least until they can rest up for a good long while. If and when they do grace us with their return, rest assured we'll bring them on home to you the best we can.

In the meantime, feel free to browse the archives for a year's worth of photos and videos, celebrate International Sloth Day in your own unique way, and think of today's sloth whenever you feel blue. She'll be thinking of you. Thanks and so long, dear readers; perhaps we'll see you on the other side sometime.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Get it! Keep climbing! Yeah sloth!!

All hands and hearts on deck to support today's sloth and her epic tree-climbing adventure. She even had to pass through a pool of hot lava to get here... note the damp fur. And then give her a lollipop for the road.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

What? Who? Me?

Today's sloth isn't quite sure what's happening or what you're asking her. In another minute or two she'll shift into extreme nap mode and you'll never get it out of her. We'd give up now, if we were you.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

You gotta leave home to taste the world

Today's sloth is so happy she's got first crack at that beautiful patch of green leaves on the other side of the forest. It took her all day to get there, and boy does that foliage taste delicious!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Is this the face of a terrorist?

I should hope not. But the way today's sloth was so unkindly evicted from her peaceful occupation of Zuccotti Park late last night begs to differ. We here at slothoftheday wouldn't have thought such a sweet little face could harbor such anger and persistence, but you'd better believe she went back today! #occupywallstreetforever

Monday, November 14, 2011

Wheeeee!!

Today's sloth is just totally f*$king awesome.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Oh hai

You're cute. Want to buy me dinner? I can haz delicious leaves.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Packing list: plastic tub, towels, sloth

Check. That's really all you'll need the next time you travel anywhere; the rest is just extra. Don't forget to poke holes in the lid!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Who wants some oysters?!

Today's sloth does! Come on, go ahead and hand her her some. She wants it so bad and she's real handy with a shucking knife.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

What *will* it take to restore our economy?

This is the question that today's sloth will be considering all day. He's perfectly content behind these beautiful green leaves pondering the major political issues of our time. Let him know if you've got any input; otherwise, he'll keep you posted once he comes up with the answer.

Friday, November 4, 2011

It's positively an orgy of fur!

Thanks for tuning in to hugging sloths week here at the slothblog! To reward you for your steadfast viewership, today we're capping it off with the mother of all lodes: sloths hugging sloths.

You're welcome.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Holy crap, it's Anderson Cooper!

What can we even say about this? Maybe that we hope today's sloth can teach this particular celebrity a thing or two, like how to look totally awesome as you age and also how to have a hit talk show. We're thinking it's gonna happen.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Whoa, not safe for work!

Who's this hoochie and what's she doing all over the internet? We're sure we don't quite know, but today's sloth is just so in love with her that we couldn't say no. If you'd like to complain about the total impropriety of this post, we'd like to refer you to yesterday's sloth, and then to the sloth before that. Seeing them should sufficiently calm anyone down.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

From the bellies of babes...

... dangle the sweetest little sloths you'll ever see. I mean, come on -- she's not even holding him there! Look at the way those tiny claws manage to snag just enough nightshirt to hang on, yet without puncturing her sensitive skin. It's like there's a magnet. A perfectly-balanced attraction of pure adorableness. Oh, we just can't take it.

Monday, October 31, 2011

It's hugging sloths week!!

And aren't you glad you dropped in. Cause there is NOTHING cuter than a sloth hugging a cat. With the possible exception of said cat hugging the sloth back. Well, you can't win em all.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Power to the *cough* people

Today's sloth is a little wet and shivery from spending the night at the cold and rainy Occupy Wall Street encampment. Won't you be a dear and bring her some hot ginger tea and Emergen-C? The revolution will not be congested.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Why yes, I would love to shake your hand

For I am the great and famous sloth who resides in a lush green paradise, and you are more than welcome to touch my claws. It will bring you luck for seven generations. Or maybe seven years, depending on how you ration it. Take my message to all of your fellow humans and spread slothy love worldwide.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Juicy red delicious treats for me?

Today's sloth would really like to know if you have hidden any strawberries under this branch.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Who screams for green beans?

Or at least flips, anyway. Today's sloth is so bonkers for vegetables that she'll just roll around on her head whenever the opportunity presents itself. And look, it's even garnished with some beautiful looking mint or spinach or something! A picture is worth a thousand salads.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Oh, to be whisked off into the woods...

... is today's sloth's most fervent dream, and the good news is it looks like it's coming true!! That long-sleeved human will take him farther than he could ever go on his leisurely own. Thank heavens for helping hands.

Friday, October 21, 2011

It's a great day for a little tongue!!

Salute the beautiful autumn weekend with some pink of your own!! If you can't remember how, today's sloth will give you a lesson.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The opposite of performance anxiety

Today's sloth really loves grass-diving, and he's just waiting for you to get your camera out so he can have some photographic evidence of his daring stunts. Come ON already. Isn't that thing supposed to make your life easier? Why's it taking so long to turn it on?!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It's a perfect day for a rainstorm

Because today's sloth isn't anywhere near rain! She's climbing along her favorite fence far away from our silly North American autumn. As for humans, we recommend curling up with a good book and some tea. And maybe some cats, if you have any laying around.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Nutrition is delicious.

So eat your greens! They taste better while you're hanging. Bonus points for not using all of your limbs. Look ma, three hands!!

Monday, October 17, 2011

It takes a lot of practice to dangle this perfectly.

And a lot of suitable thin branches. If this were your backyard, you'd be pretty damn good at it by now too. You'd even be able to smile while swinging there, like today's happy sloth! Although... actually, maybe sloths just smile all the time anyway.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The world is changing!

It's only been a few short weeks, but already the country is so different thanks to a bunch of crazy protesters who've been sleeping in a NYC park for weeks now. Today's sloth is so inspired by these demonstrators he can't help but smile and smile all day. Enjoy the weekend, everyone. May it be full of peaceful assembly and democratic process. Mic check!!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Slow down. Revolution approaching!

This may be a simple sign in Spanish advocating the automobile speed limit... or it may be a sign of the end of days, forecasting the time when the 1 percent* has become ZERO! Either way, today's sloth is lovin' on it, and it doesn't look like he's gonna stop any time soon.

Party on, sloths. Occupy Wall Street solidarity forever!!!

*the overpaid and overrepresented humans of the United States who are ruining things for the rest of us.

 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

More hanging! So much hanging!

So many branches, such slow metabolism! How will the sloths ever get to see all of them? We'll just have to send along our fervent prayers that they can find the time and motivation to explore as far as they can imagine. Little slothy minds, dream big!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Itchy, itchy

Today's sloth got a wicked arm full of poison ivy over the weekend! She's hanging from this branch in an attempt to stop scratching at it. Look how good she's being, with her claws tucked out of harm's way on her shoulder. Maybe next time she won't reach so far into the underbrush for those ripening raspberries.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Apples apples everywhere...

Today's sloth is pretty tired from picking apples all day yesterday on a farm many hours away from where she lives, so she's just going to take a little nap on this here branch. When she wakes up maybe she'll make you a delicious apple crunch.


Friday, October 7, 2011

It's like being someone else for awhile.

Whee! Today's sloth is having so much fun hanging around on his favorite branch pretending to be a monkey. He loves to play dress-up, too... just wait till you see him in heels. Happy Friday from all of us at slothoftheday!!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

You cannot have it!!

You cannot! I loves it too much! Don't take it away from me! NO No no nonononononoooo!!

Today's sloth is feeling a little possessive. I'd come back later, if I were you. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Viva la revolucion!

Today's sloth is so excited about all of the protests and marches happening around the country today in solidarity with NYC's Occupy Wall Street demonstrations. Down with corporate greed! Power to the people! Can't you just feel the electricity in the air? Give her a bandana so she doesn't get pepper-sprayed in her sensitive little eyes.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Beware the stumbling sloth!

Today's sloth drank a wee bit too much last night and fell down his tree. He was just trying to complete his weekly journey out of the branches to relieve himself, but he lost some control of his motor system. That's what happens when all you eat is vegetables and moonshine.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Thank you for your understanding!

Dear readers,

Today's sloth would like to extend the deepest gratitude to you as we took another week off. It's been a very busy year for sloths, and sometimes they need to nap for five days straight. However, we're back again! And we think you'll be pretty pleased with the silly sloths we've got planned for you in the days ahead. Happy Monday from all of us here at slothoftheday!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Oh, what will it be?

Today's sloth is so hungry but she's not quite sure what she wants for lunch. She's keeping her eyes wide open and ready until an idea comes to her. Happy weekend from all of us at slothoftheday!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Is it safe?

Can I go yet? Oh please please - I've been waiting all day. I want to cross this road SO BAD. Come on, tell me there are no motorized vehicles waiting to flatten me onto the pavement...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Awoooooo!!

It's a perfect day for a howl and today's sloth is right on time!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A perfect combination of things

Today's sloth loves road. Loves it so much she can't even keep her eyes open while she crosses it. And all the nearby algae can sense that love, and comes crawling out of the forest to catch a ride as she journeys. It doesn't even matter that algae can't crawl. They do it anyway, because they're so happy.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

Whooooaaa! Hold on!

Today's sloth is almost blown away by this blustery wind she finds herself in! Thankfully she's got long claws to pierce this long wooden board she happens to have found in the rubble. The upside is that it makes her hair look fantastic.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

omgiloveyousomuch

iamgoingtosqueezeyouashardasicanuntilyoucryandyoucantstopmebecausethatswhatloveis

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in

Today's sloth had a long, lazy start to her day and that's just how she likes it. She prefers to roll around and stretch in bed as long as possible - at least until early afternoon. And now that she's accomplished that, it's time to pump up the Postal Service while she gets dressed. Happy Wednesday from all of us here at slothoftheday.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

It's a lovely day for a reunion

Today's sloth is SO EXCITED because tonight he's getting together with all his favorite friends from sloth school. It's September, time for making new plans and reaffirming our love for those who learned with us as we go out into the world to use our skills in all our different ways. Plus, nothing's better than a room full of sloths and Prosecco, anyway.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Hi! We missed you!

Sometimes the weekend is an awful long time to wait to see you again, dear readers. Today's sloth is crawling at the camera in an effort to express to you how excited she has been for the return of Monday. Every sloth loves a brand-new week, especially when it comes complete with beautiful strangers such as yourselves gazing upon her face with anticipation and appreciation. Thank heaven for them internets!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Apology sloth #5

Waaaaaaaaaaa! She made me do it! She pulled my arm up into the air and stretched it SO far over my head and wrapped my little sloth claw around her huge human finger and forced me into it! I would never have done it if it weren't for her. Look at this picture. Cameras don't lie.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Apology sloth #4

Hi! I love this log. And I think I'm supposed to be telling you that I'm sorry about something but I can't remember what exactly it was so I'm just going to lay here and cuddle this branch and hope that soon your brain will erase all memory of my wrongdoing because it's too busy focusing on how cute I look right now. Did it work?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Apology sloth #3

Hmm. Today's sloth doesn't look very apologetic. She said she had something to tell us, but... we think someone bribed her to do it. What's she looking at? A field of fresh green leaves or an empty road to cross as slow as she likes, as a reward for fessing up? We're not sure, but it's the thought that counts. Maybe.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Apology sloth #2

Come on man, I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I was just totally baked. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Look, I even got this human to carry me around on a ridiculous pillow shaped like an oversized monkey so you would know how sincere I am. Please don't be mad at me forever. I love you.